Merry Christmas

To My Democratic Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. N ot to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To My Republican Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Surpplies!!!!

If you haven’t ever seen UHF, I highly recommend this movie. Especially if your in the mood for a movie where the jokes are so bad/stupid that they are hilarious. UHF was not going to be the subject of the post, but for those who have not seen the movie the subject of this post will be confusing. There is a point in the movie where the bad guys hear a noise, upon searching for source they go to open the “Supplies” (sign on the door) closet. As they open the door one of the good guys with a Chinese accent, says “Surpplies”, before the butt kicking begins.

Now to the subject at hand, during Shell’s first ultrasound the tech noted that she 90% sure that the baby was girl. So we have been planning according with buying clothes and decorating the nursery. Also most the gifts have been in mind of us expecting a girl. Well you probably see where I’m going with this. Our new son was born November 27, 2007. Even though the day of the birth was not the surprise. The day before, during another ultra sound verified the surprise.

Now decorating the nursery was not that big of deal, since the chosen colors were green and purple. Purple is not the most manly color, but it is better than pink like the majority of his cloths hanging in the closet. I believe I read somewhere babies cannot see color for the first few months, so I have some time to paint the room again. Even if this not the case, I’m sure he will not remember.

Giving Thanks

This morning a couple of co-workers were standing behind my desk, discussing what time a meeting was going to be held. I chimed in, “it has been moved to Tuesday.” Just as I finished the sentence, I realized today is Tuesday. So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’ll start by giving thanks for the short work week and the long weekend to come.

Football Thoughts for Week 11

Well a loss by Michigan pretty much sealed their fate of a disappointing season. Another trip to a bowl that pretty much doesn’t matter. There goes the head coach into retirement.

Upsets has been this years theme for college football. Well it happen to Oregon and Oklahoma this weekend ending their chances at a National Title. I was kind of rooting for Oregon, so I am left with rooting for Kansas.

One last check of how ISU did this season, confirmed my prediction. They suck. Results are in 3-6, GO BUNGLERS!!!!

Sea Chickens were able to come back from a horrible start, giving up 10 points to the Bears in the opening minutes. I heard a couple of references to this was an opportunity for the hawks to get some revenge on last year losses. It didn’t start out looking like that was going to happen, but were able to complete the task at hand.

I was able to see a little of the Chiefs and Colts game. Even though the Colts won, I am surprised on how awful they look.

The upset of the week in the NFL had to be the Jets over the Steelers. I didn’t think they had a chance. The previous couple of weeks I kept reading about the Steelers should be considered as one of the elite teams of the AFC. Of course I have seen these same statements since, but it is only 1 week.

The Browns came away with the win after seemly losing the game. If you did not see the game. The Browns were attempting a 51 yard field goal to send the game into OT. The ball first hit the upright then deflected across the cross bar and ricocheting back off the camera into the end zone. The call was originally called a missed field goal only to be reversed by replay. Allowing the Browns to win in OT. By the way, field goals are not suppose to be reviewed by instant replay.

What I call the “Grandpa Bowl”, since all major match ups this year are referred to as (something) Bowl. Grandpa Farve’s team beat up Grandpa Vinny’s team.

The Cowboys again won. Also they left their opponent an opportunity to win it at the end. I’m not sure if the Redskins offense is getting better or the cowboys pass defense is not that good. Other thoughts is that no matter how much I dislike TO, I can’t help saying he is having a great season. Anyway I’m happy with the win.

New Lug Nut Removal Tool

Have you ever had troubles with a lug nut on a tire?

Apparently a 66 old Washington State man did. He got so frustrated he decided to try and loosen it with a 12 gauge shot gun. You probably guessed this, but he was taken to the hospital for the removal of several buckshot/debris in mainly his legs with wounds as high as his chin. The injuries are severe, but not life-threatening.

It was also reported that there was no alcohol involved.

The first thing that came to my mind “That’s brainy!!”

Re-Occurrence

I have the re-occurring nightmare of falling, which woke me up this morning. After I was lying in bed for a little while, I decided to get ready for work. Then when I was coming out of the bathroom, I looked at the clock and hurriedly made my lunch on my way out of the door. Thinking I was late. While driving, I noticed that the normal morning show that I have playing every morning wasn’t on. Realizing I was an hour early. Damn day light savings.

Football Thoughts for Week 10

Starting with college football as always, I was happy to see that Ohio State lost. Unfortunately Michigan lost also, which makes next week match up less exciting. But the winner should still go to the rose bowl. GO BLUE!!!!

Three University of Montana players were arrested for burglary. This is the latest in a long line of problems with the law for the program. Looks like Montana’s football program is the college version of the NFLs Bengals. Who would have thought.

I didn’t even bother checking to see how ISU has done for a few weeks, like it matters.

Congratulations goes out to the sea chickens as they destroyed the 49ers.

Funny how before the season the 49ers were picked as a sleeper team. The only negative for me in the 49ers loosing ways is that the Patriots will get there 1st round pick in next years draft.

Speaking of 1st round picks, the Browns (aka Cowboys) pick is not going to be as good as everyone thought. I’ve never said this before, but I was glad to see the Steelers win this week.

Too bad for Adrian Petersen’s injury during the Packers, always fun to see records broken. After the previous week, I was getting tired of hearing all the press handing him the MVP and proclaiming that he would break the rookie rushing record. Where is an idea, wait until it happens.

I must be jinxed, when it comes to fantasy football. One of my leagues I have Brees as my QB, which I’ve played him the first 4 weeks. All Saints losses, with very poor numbers. I decided to go with my back up for the next four games, which were all wins and his improved numbers. Last week, I decided to move him back into the starting lineup against the winless Rams. Sure enough it was a flash back to the first four weeks as the Rams beat the Saints. Maybe I can make a few bucks from Saints fans. How much will they pay for me not to play Brees as my QB.

I’ll have to check to see if the Saints play the Dolphins. If so I might be nice and play Brees again so they can have a win. Then maybe not, since they failed on their best chance this year. By allowing the Bills to come from behind. It also might be fitting for this season to go with the Dolphins season where they did not have a loss. You may be unaware of my power to influence some games, but it is true.

The Patriots are that so good that they did not only kick the Colts butts, but it was so bad that Colts could not beat the horrid Chargers the next week.

I thought it was kind of the Cowboys to let NY think they were in the game during the first half with stupid penalties. Only to take care of them in the second half.

Football Thoughts for Week 9

- Well I glad to see that one of Boston’s teams are not invincible. Too bad it had to be previous ranked #2 Boston College and not the Pats.

- I was disappointed in wins by Ohio State (they can shove “the” you know where) and LSU. I was even more disappointed in Arizona States loss to the ducks.

- Since I’m usually cheering for the underdog in college football, now I’m going to root for Kansas. Speaking of Kansas, I saw the final score against Nebraska and I asked myself if college basketball had already started. Nope they got spanked, 76 points.

- Notre Dame has hit a new low, loosing to Navy. The last time this happened was 1963. Before that it was in the early 1900s. But Notre Dame games are nationally televised each week. Boy it sucks to be NBC or a Notre Dame fan.

- This has to be a relief for both the Rams and Dolphins. They did not loose last weekend. Of course they did play. Next goal is to win at something!

- The shocker of the week for me was the Saints & Jags game. First, the one player suspended on the Jags defense must have been one hell of player, because they really suck now. Second, what were the Saints doing the first few 4 weeks of the season? They no longer suck.

- I saw the score of the next game at half time and thought it was over. Nope I was wrong, due to a fall out of the Sea Chickens, the Browns were able to come back to win in OT. Damnit, I was cheering for the Sea chickens last week. They are screwing up the value of Dallas’ 1st round pick next year.

- I thought since the Hawks lost, I would be able to continue giving a co-worker a hard time. Well he took all the fun out of the this thinking. Before I could even say a word to him on Monday, he stated “THE HAWKS SUCK”. Later in the day I did throw a blow, commenting that .500 is good enough for the lead in the division. But he just seemed to agree and there was no joking around. Damnit!!!

- All I can say about the Colts and Patriots, thank god it is over. As previously noted I was a Colts fan until they gave it away at the end. I was tired of hearing about Superbowl 42 and 1/2. I’m guessing that soon I’ll be tired of hearing of talk that the Pats should just be given the championship trophy and cancel the rest of the season.

- A few records were accomplished last weekend. First the Chargers had a missed field goal returned for a touchdown, 109 yards which cannot be broken. Second Farve has now beat all 31 teams. And last, Petersen had most rushing yards for a game against the very same Chargers. Shell has said that I have been too negative lately, but I cannot help continuing. First 109 yard return, it was fairly easy due to the fact the Vikings had mostly lineman on the field for the play. Second, I think that beating all 31 teams was more impressive for Manning and Brady that complete this task the week before. They accomplished this task in about 8 fewer seasons.

- All disappointments and negativities aside. The Cowboys kicked the Eagles butts on there home field. Prior to the game McNabb said that the NFC East champions still need to come through Philly. Well they came and the Eagles failed to defend anything.

'Dear Lord: Thank you for bringing me to Eric's house and not to Michael Vick's -- AMEN!'

I was thinking on removing the caption above, mainly due to Vick jokes are becoming old. But anyway the pictures is funny without the joke.

My Random Thoughts for Today Starts with Bon Jovi

I read that he admitted to being a drug dealer (bought and sold cannabis) before finding fame as a rock star. From this statement a couple of thoughts/questions come to mind:

Does this really mean anything, how did this subject even come up? This is not interview with a person like 50 Cent, where he raps about this very subject. Is there a second meaning to some of Bon Jovi songs that I don’t know about?

Then I thought, is this just something to bring attention to him in attempt for another comeback? Nothing like some controversy to get some headlines to sell more albums, this concept has always worked for other musicians. Needless to say, if this was the case, it did not work. I stumbled onto it by accident. Was Bon Jovi’s 1st come back successful?

Yes I realize I’m thinking about this way too much. If anybody knows the answers, please feel free to let me know. If not, I will be okay never knowing.

Finally a lawsuit that I’m glad that it happened

Finally a lawsuit that I’m glad that it happened. A Maryland church that pickets soldiers funerals because the believe God is punishing America for being tolerant of homosexuals and views the death of soldiers as a welcome sign of God’s wrath. They have picketed at least a dozen soldiers funerals. The father of 1 of these solders won $11 Million. Hopeful there are more to come.

The weather

today reminded my of Iceland. Cold and windy. Kind of depressing that winter is almost here. Good thing the weekend is here to cheer me up!!!!!

NBA

Tuesday the NBA regular season started. This seems to be too soon to start.



Does anybody else think that the NBA is on the downward spiral. I guess that happens when the refs (gambling) and the NBA itself ruin the game.

The NBA part I’m referring to is suspending a couple of Suns players for leaving the bench, when they took to steps away to see what was going on. Now I’m not saying that decided the series, but it took away from the momentum of the Suns and could be in part what affected the outcome.

It is hard to watch when the Spurs when they are wining, they are so boring. Anyway, I excited to see some games. Go SUNS!!!

My Bi-Annual Bitching

With the upcoming change in Day Light Savings brings my bi-annual question, why in the hell is Day Light Savings still observed? This is the most useless act that results in everybody being screwed up with the time change. Okay I shouldn’t speak for everyone, but my internal clock will be screwed up. I still don’t understand its purpose, or more importantly the reason it is still around and why this year the dates where changed?

My theory is that congress need some dead weight issues and this was one of them. Also, with the heavy reliance for society on computes this also creates additional work, in other words additional jobs.

I’m not sure anything in this post makes any sense, but I had to get it out of my system. No promises that additional bitching about this annoyance will not take place in the future.

Halloween

It that time again. This year I will be playing the roll of a Halloween version of Scrooge. We are not handing out candy. In fact I’m are going to pick up a pizza for dinner, then we will turn off all the lights and retreat to the back of the house to watch a movie.

Last Halloween I was home, I cannot remember how many years that has been, this was how the night went. As it was getting dark, we had several local neighborhood children and parents come to the door, which was a pleasure. This was great chance to catch up with the neighbors and see the cute costumes of the little kiddies. But since Shell is pregnant and I don’t want her to frequently get up for the door. In addition, I won’t be home from work until later so this part I will probably miss out on anyways.

Back to the last Halloween. Then later that evening, I opened the door to see several older kids trick and treating. Behind them in the street was two cars parked with doors open and a flood of kids flowing out. This reminded me of the circus act where all the clowns are pilling out of the car and you think to yourself, how many more of them can really be in there, as it continues. This act created a constant stream of kids at the door. Yes parents were dropping groups of kids off in our neighborhood, which brought me to the conclusion that we (we as in neighbors) give out too good of treats. So to save the cash and constant annoyance after the initial rush we’ll spend our last Halloween as non-parents relaxing watching a movie.

Stopping by the Entertainment Section

I usually skip the entertainment section of MSN mainly due to the fact that I do not care if Paris, Brittany, or Lindsey is in jail/rehab this week. But I noticed one head line that I could not resist. Of course this lead to others to note.

- Leno is out in 09, Conan is in. Since I go to bed around 8 PM anymore and I’m OLD, I really couldn’t tell you that Leno was still alive. If I did stay up that late, I would probably watch Letterman over the two anyway.

- Paris has decided to move to a secret location in Africa to never be heard from again. To keep her company she will be taking along Brittany and Lindsey. Just kidding, this is more of a wish. I seen some headline concerning her visiting somewhere. I didn’t bother reading because I don’t care.

- The Backstreet Boys are releasing their new album yesterday. That is great, I thought they were dead. Now, I don’t wish that they were dead, I wish they would stayed where ever they were hiding.

- Speaking of boy bands, one of Justin Timberlake’s buddies from what even band her use to be in, thought he was gay. Who cares I wish he would go where the backseat boys were hiding.

- Hannah Montana tickets are being scalped for $3k a piece. What the hell is going on, have I been in a comma.

- One last wish. I wish that I did not waste the ten minutes with the entertainment section and this post.

No Football For Week 8

If you were thinking the No Football this week was due to Cowboys were not playing this week. You are wrong. It was too busy of a weekend to see much football or read the sports page. I turned on the TV to see about 2 minutes before Tampa Bay screwed up their final attempt to win the game. In addition, I was able to see the final scores. Hopefully next week, I’ll have more to talk about.

College Mascots

The other day I was reading the sports page online. After finishing one article, for some reason still unapparent to me, but I decided to see who ISU was playing. I selected the division AA football schedule for the weekend and as I was scrolling down, I noticed that each college mascot was included. Now most of these schools had a mascot that I have heard of before, but there were a few that I haven’t. Like the following: Murray State Racers, Tennessee-Martin Skyhawks, Western Kentucky Hilltoppers, and Albany Great Danes

Then there were a few that were a little weird to me or made me question “what the hell is a _____”:

Chattanooga Mocs - Short for Moccasins. If I ever become a founder of a college, the mascot is going to be either the Steel Toes or the Tennis Runners.

Coastal Carolina Chanticleers - I had to look up Chanticleers, which is a chicken. By the way Wikipedia has all of these, and some with pictures. Boy that is one mean looking chicken.

South Dakota State Jackrabbits - Now I thought mascots were suppose to represent a desired quality in your group, usually a figure that has a characteristics of power, strength, bravery, etc... Not to offend anyone for South Dakota State or the jackrabbits, but what in the hell are the jackrabbits majestic qualities. A see a small animal that are easy to pick off. The only thing I could think is the stupid symbol of good luck, but that is only a foot and not the entire rabbit. This is even worse than the chicken, but maybe it is me.

Western Illinois Leathernecks - My initial vision is a football game with large group of energized fans in the stands with the cheerleaders up front leading them in rooting for their team, when leather face (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) shows up with a chainsaw instead of a guy in a chicken suit. If you want your scare your opponents as well as your own supporters, job well done.

Fainting Goats

A friend at work asked me if I had ever heard of a fainting goat. Not until now. According to Wikipedia, a fainting goat is a domestic breed that will freeze when scared/startled. This is brought on by a genetic disorder, which is also said to be painless. But it didn’t say that these goats could talk, so I say how do they know that it is painless.


(No it is not dead)

Anyway back to the goat. Now younger fainting goats will usually stiffen and fall over when scared. Old versions have learned to spread there legs or lean against something when this starts and even continue to run around awkward, stiff-legged shuffle.

This whole discussion was brought about since this previously mentioned co-worker was thinking about purchasing one of these animals to keep his children entrained next summer. First he is joking around, at least that is how the discussion went. But I could see this a possibility after answering my next question. What are the usues of a fainting goat? According to the web they are around for two reasons:

First, to be raised as a pet. They can be friendly, intelligent, easy to keep, and amusing.

Second is awful in my opinion, but I also think it is awful to own one just for the amusement of scaring it to watch it freeze up and fall over. Not to say the entire idea is not funny, but if this is the sole reason it is awful. Again I digress. Second, they are also used for protecting livestock such as sheep by involuntarily "sacrificing themselves" to predators. Allowing the sheep to escape.

iCrime

Just recently I read an article concerning a report that linked the increase in crime rate due to the popularity of iPods, which is also addressed in the RedTape blog. The link is included if you wish to read further. Besides the discussion of increase in the crime rate, there is also discussion pertaining what is being done to help stop gadget thefts. The first is not the best proactive approach, but it seems like a good idea to me. And the second is good idea for some expensive gadgets:

JustStolen.net that allows victims to register their lost items in a nationwide database accessible to law enforcement officials. Should a stolen item show up in a cache of gadgets recovered by police, it can be returned to the rightful owner. So far, hundreds of thousands of stolen items are listed on the site. No idea on how many have been returned to their owners, as agencies can contact victims directly without notifying the person that set up the site.

GadgetTrak, is a service that can be installed on almost any USB-enabled device which will make a stolen gadget "phone home" as soon as it is connected to a computer with Internet access. Registered devices, when told to do so, will send the user's IP address, computer name and other identifying information to GadgetTrak, which then provides the data to the victim so it can be shared with police. The service costs $12.95 a year.

Football Thoughts for Week 7

10 - To start at like normal with college football. LSU barley squeeze by Auburn. Which apparently is good enough for them to pass Arizona State in the polls, who are still undefeated. I guessing that this is another SEC is the best and the rest suck. I will also say that ASU did have a bye week and moving up 4 spots is pretty good for not playing a game.

9 - It’s a miracle. The impossible is now possible. The thing that will never happen in million years, happened. ISU won!!!!!

8 - I thought it would only be fitting to have the Titans at this point. After have a fairly large lead going into the 4th quarter, the Titans gave up the lead before diving one last time for a field goal to win the game. This was the 8th field goal for Titans kicker in the game, a new record.

7 - The NFL Bungles (Bangles) were able to come from behind to beat Chad Pennington. Too bad that the Jets as a whole had to take the loss. I know that he was not the entire reason for the loss, but it is the main starting point. If the head coach for the Jets wants out of his contract, he should continue to start Chad.

6 - I am tired of hearing about soon to be super bowl champion Patriots and their MVP Brady. But after 6 touchdowns in a game I have to note the accomplishment. In addition, I will also note that this was the Dolphins and Brady only had the 6th due to the poor performance of the backup. Resulting in his return in the 4th quarter before handing off again to the 3rd string QB.

5 - Well the sea chickens were able to get the win against the Rams. Alexandra looked horrible and if they keep playing like, things are going to be very ugly in the rainy city. By the way, last week I enjoyed giving a co-worker a very hard time that the Cardinals were leading the division. Of course this was only brought on by him giving me a bad time about the Patriot/Cowboys game. But anyway to continue the taunting, I was hoping for a loss. The chickens were able to win easily. I guess I will give him a bad time about his team barley leading in a division that sucks so much.

4 - I started writing this post yesterday, leaving this blank for after MNF. But since the Colts stomped the Jags, there is not much to go on with this particular game. So onto another subject, prior to the season John Kitna (QB of the Lions) noted that Lions will win 10 games this season. Everybody, including me laughed at the idea. It only took only 7 weeks into this season to match the number of wins for last season, at 4. Now they still have 6 more to win for his predictions to come true, but I’m impressed that they have won so many.

3 - On too the windy city. Looks like the change at QB paid off for DA BEARS. Griese was not too bad and lead the final drive for 97 yards in less than 2 minutes without a time out for the go ahead score. Of course it took both teams 3 plus quarters for either to score a touchdown and luckily for the Bears they were last.

2 - Back to college. The number 2 in nation has lost, for the 4th straight week. This weeks victim was South Florida, which seemed to have ever sports news was saying that they were not as good as their ranking. Well here came Rutgers to prove them right. This brings up the next question, can Boston College break the habit next Thursday or will it be the 5th in a row?

1 - Was there any doubt that this would be about the Cowboys. Now they did try to give away the game, on multiple occasions, but they were able to get the win on the blocked field goal and return for the TD. They were able to control the unstoppable Adrian Peterson. Now is a good time for a week off, before they take on the Eagles.

DAMN THE MAN, THE MAYTAG MAN

Last Friday marked a joyous occasion, we got our Fridge back. As the repairmen were putting everything back together, one guy noticed a leak in the water system. Damn fridge!! Of course these repairmen don’t have the replacement part in stock. So we do have our fridge back and the previous problem is now fixed. But now there is no ice or water due to leak, waiting for the part to come in.

I now know why the MAYTAG repairman is never working on MAYTAG’s, because he is incompetent along with the entire company. Good thing Whirlpool bought them out, after our purchase.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM MY EMAIL THIS PAST YEAR

Just recently received this email, and thought I would to share since I seen about 90% of these and I found it amusing.

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now use a wet towel withevery envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer drink Coca Cola because I've learned that it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I now know that I can't boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica,Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

Thanks to my many internet friends, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt

And thanks to the great advice, I will never pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on yourhead at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

Which is the reason for this post!!!

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor' s ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...Have a wonderful day...

PS: A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain andsexual activity read their computer screen with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. .

Baby Names

Once finding out Shell was pregnant, we started thinking of possible names. Now my initial thoughts were:

A) No very common names. I started writing this part of the post and determined my thoughts took too much time away from the subject above. So see the “Damn It Jim” post.

2) No funny names. Everyone has experience hearing a name and responded by saying something in the lines of (out loud or to yourself) “damn his/her parents are seriously messed up” or “ boy his/her parents didn’t like them very much.” I knew a girl through out school that was named Grevela. Now I’m not sure if I spelled that right but it was pronounced GRA-V-LA

3rd) I don’t care too much about the meaning. But there has to be a point where you have to not choose a name since it would just be bad luck to start out in life that way.

No need to expand on A) above, but here are some examples I came across in searches:

Examples of 2)
Oh course there are the 3 celebrity babies - Apple, Camera, Zola Ivy
Then there are colors - Blue, Indigo, Red, Teal
Rupinder (roo PIN der) - Sanskrit for Superlatively beautiful.

Examples of 3rd)
Mara - Hebrew for Bitter
Cecelia - Latin for Blind
Porsche - Latin for Pig
Brutus - Latin for Stupid
Baya - Swahili for Ugly Girl
Weeko - Native American for Sexually Transmitted Disease

Damn It Jim

Trying to decide on a baby name has been a little difficult, since we still have not decided. Note that we already had a boys name picked out and due to this fact is the main reason we are having a girl. But as I was discussing Baby Names in the other post, I started typing and got a little carried away for that post. So I create a second post. I started thinking that we cannot name our baby with a very common name and this is why:

First, I don’t know how many times I turn to see if someone is trying to get my attention. Whether it is for me or not, it probably averages out to 5 times a day. Why, because my name is officially James. And how many other people are also names James. Well there is 5,032,038 in the US alone and that does not include variations. To see where you rank see the on link in the “useless-information-i-lost-count” post. My current group of co-workers named James is 43% of us, or 3 out of 7.

And last, during my 30 years of experience I have heard it all Jimmy, Jim Bob, Jimbo, Jimmy dean, and the usually from trekies “damn it Jim, I’m just a doctor” in bones voice. The best is saved for last, a professor of mine called (accidentally) by 1st half of my last name instead of Jim, and used Jim with the second part of my last name.

In other words, people stop the madness.

Proud!!!!

A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles per year.

Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year.

That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind Of Makes You Proud To Be American !

Maytag or should it be Fridge-A-Dare

I lost count of how may times we have had a repairman at our house trying to fix the fridge. Until yesterday I shouldn’t complain too much, since the fridge is still under warranty and there is no cost to us. But the number of attempts to repair is annoying and a little inconvenient. Well yesterday was another visit, but this time they took away our fridge for the repair. The repair will require welding and observation, to ensure the problem is corrected. This leaving us in cooler city for most likely a week.

Maybe that damn Maytag repair man should stop fixing other items like shown on the commercials, let the factory produce stuffed animal with 2 butts, and go back to work on Maytag items (aka our fridge).

3 Essentials to Survival

I was able to survive this weekend. Even though there were moments that the feeling of crazy would take over my mental state. What event threatened my insanity? Well this weekend was Shell’s baby shower. With this event brought Shell’s mother, sister, best friend, Shell, and myself under one small roof for 3 days.

Now let me first say that I like her family and friends. Second I would not consider our house small, but small considering 5 adults and 1 Bailey (aka dog) is a different story. And third, until just recently I have been living away from home surrounded by male construction workers. Last item is not a pretty site, but I had my space and was able to adapt. Needless to say I’m not use to be in a crowded area and I was a little overwhelmed by the female presence around me. Even the soon to be born baby and the dog are female.

So how did I starving off lunacy? Here are the 3 essential items:
1 - Frequent breaks from the group (their shopping trips, working in the garage).
2 - Not holding the baby shower at home (a friend luckily hosted).
3 - Heavy dose of Football. If not available at this time, there are some sports substitutes will suffice.

My Weekly Football Posts vs. ISU Football Program

My weekly football posts are kind of like ISU football program, no one actually partakes in entertainment aspect of either one. The difference in the two, I’m not throwing away a ton of cash writing and publishing these posts. Where as the football team has been in the red for many years. Don’t worry let the students pay for it, too late they already are paying for it with tuition.

Week 6 Football

10 - Well ISU is now 2-4. Season is done, start planning for next year. Too bad there is not a draft for college football, there would be something to look forward to at the end of the season. I guess there is one thing, the season being over.

9 - Purdue was un-able to put away Michigan. After beating 2 top 25 teams Michigan is back in the top 25 themselves.

8 - The rate that top 25 teams college teams are falling this year, there will not be a single undefeated team. South Florida is number 2 in the nation, what???? And I still don’t understand why Hawaii isn’t ranked higher, they are undefeated? Oh I forgot non BCS team, what a load of crap.

7 - The Packers were saved by there defense again. I still cannot believe they won so many games so far without a run game. It could be potentially bad at the end of the season, especially at home where the cold/snow is a factor.

6 - Well the Rams and Dolphins were unable to break there streaks this week. I have seen articles on both teams, talking about the possibility of either team not winning a game all season. Good thing the pros do have a draft.

5 - Saints finally won a game, too bad for the Sea Chickens. It is fun to give all the Seahawk fans around me a bad time. Like Cardinals have are 1st in their division. It makes number 3, of this post, less painful.

4 - Both Boise State and Nevada cannot even slightly comprehend the word defense. After the 4th OT period, Boise State was able to prevent the 2 point conversion, the final score 69-67. I regret missing this one, but hopefully it will be replayed on the ESPN classic channel as an instant classic since it was the all time record for scoring in a game.

3 - Yes the Patriots won. When Dallas was only able to have there offense on the field for 5 minutes total for each half, there no other possible result. My main thought, only team to go undefeated during the regular season didn’t make it to the super bowl.

2 - Number 2 this week goes out to the grandpa of the NFL, Mr. Vinny Testaverde. This 43 year quarterback started for the Panthers, leading them to a win over the Cardinals. The Cardinals lost their grandpa of a QB in the first quarter to an injury, too bad since they tried to get Testaverde and had to settle for Rattay and possible vist by Tim Hassleback in the future.

1 - Kentucky was too much for LSU to handle. Saturday afternoon I sat down to watch a little college football and was able to see the OT periods for this game. Even though I did not see the whole game, it seemed to me that LSU play wasn’t worth the number 1 ranking. Next week Kentucky will looking to give Florida there 3rd loss of the season.

Coupon

A couple of weekends ago, Shell was out of town and I decided to go rent some videos. This was the perfect time to rent any action flicks that might be a little too grotesque for Shells taste. But the main reason for the trip was a “rent one, get one free” coupon that I had was about to expire. I couldn’t let this coupon go to waste. Now the main movie that I wanted to see was Pathfinder, but I was having a hard time finding another (my free one) movie. I was getting tired of walking back and forth and started heading up to the counter when I noticed that Quentin Tarantino had a new movie Death Proof. Since I was tired of being in the store and I was in the mood to handle a Tarantino film. So “Bobs Your Uncle”

This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. For those who want to see the movie, you may not want to read any further. But I suggest just reading about it on the link above and save yourself about an 2 hours.



I know that all of Tarantino’s movies has a long segment where there is no action and all it is a conversation with the movie characters. It has happened in Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and Kill Bill vol I & II. But when two of these segments take up a total of 98% of movie, this is the limit. I was able to watch the first segment without fast forwarding, but the second I had to see what happened without watching it entirely. By doing this, I found out that I was not missing any of the plot. The movie should have been 30 minutes, which would have been long enough to give Tarantino one of his conversations segment.

In other words two things took place. I now have a new movie I rank in the top 10, worst of all time. Ranked in-between Cabin Boy and Chocolat. Second, I am pissed off that I wasted a free video coupon, which was about to expire, on this movie.

Weird News

It has been awhile since I made a post concerning the Weird World News, but there was a couple of stories I could not pass up.

- In a Pittsburgh supermarket this last weekend, a man was seeking to use a $1 million bill.

The particular act is not what is weird for me, it is the frequency. I swear this is the 5th of 6th time I have seen this headline in the last couple of years. I’m amazed that people think that this will work. Okay lets even go beyond the first question, say that there is a slim chance in hell that this will work. My next stupid question would be, do they a think the store has enough money onsite to change the bill? Now is this make believe world lets go 1 further step. Say for some reason a supermarket in Pittsburg does have that much money to give change for this bill. Depending how much they are buying , but lets say a $1,000. Was this guy expecting 9,990 $100 dollar bills. Maybe this is why I am not a criminal, I think way too much and have no faith that any of these cons will work.

- Somewhere is Missouri, a man accused of stealing a doughnut could be spend 30 years in jail. This man slipped a doughnut into his shirt and then pushed away the clerk who tried to stop him as he left the store. The push is being treated as minor assault, which transforms a misdemeanor shoplifting charge to strong-armed robbery. This charge alone has a potential prison term of 5 to 15 years, but with this man’s criminal history the prosecutors say they could seek 30 years.

Tough call, is 52 cent doughnut worth 30 years in jail? It must have been one hell of a doughnut. Isn't Springfield supposedly in Missouri. I have the feeling that this will become a Simpsons episode where Homer goes to jail for stealing a doughnut. Or... maybe it basically has already been done.

Monday Continue

Apparently I spoke to soon. Yesterday after posting on how great my Monday was going, I found out that the computer was just the beginning. Come to find out our fridge needs to have the compressor replaced. So next MONDAY the appliance repair company will pick up the fridge and it should only take 5 days to repair. Since the fridge will need to be emptied, hopefully I’m hungry this next weekend. Luckily we have houseguests this weekend, which will help.

Week 5 Football

10 - Notre Dame actually won a game, what happened to UCLA.

9 - Ohio State won and Wisconsin lost. These are the two unfortunate results for college games this week.

8 - Stanford was too much for USC

7 - LSU-Florida, I was torn between which team I hoped to win. If LSU (SEC team) wins they still #1 and if Florida wins there was still a chance for a National Title. I think the least of 2 evils did prevail, just due to my high regard of coach Meyer.

6 - Is there going to be anyone undefeated in college football at the end of the season.

5 - Note to ISU, I heard that San Diego State is thinking about getting ride of there football program. It probably costs too much for there students. It would be different if a program could be self sufficient (cost) for at least 1 year every decade.

4 - Pro football was very boring this weekend. The most exciting game was the Rams-Cardinals and that was not too interesting.

3 - Everybody still thinks the entire NFC sucks, and it did not help with the Steelers pounding the sea chickens. And the Colts destroying Tampa Bay.

2- The Packers are no longer undefeated thanks to the Bears. Congratulation to Brett, who surpassed another record this weekend. Most interceptions of all time.

1 - I was worn out after this game. This was the most exciting game of the week, Bills-Cowboys. Who would of thought that Dallas could turn the ball over 6 times and still win the game. Next week is the Patriots. Dallas better bring there A game, instead of there D minus game (barely passing the test with no honor).

Surprise

Today started out as a normal work day. Struggling out of bed at 4:30 in morning. Trying to wake up with a nice hot shower while trying to motivate myself to get out and get ready for work. Then trying to get a few more minutes of sleep on the vanpool drive while attempting not to loose my breakfast with speed racer behind the wheel. Reaching my final destination, my desk. But at the later event I was surprised with a present from Santa. He left me a shinny new computer. OH JOY!!!!! HAPPY DAY!!!!! I am so glad I’ve been a good boy this year.

This was such a pleasant event, since my old computer had a processor equivalent to the slide rule. The heap of crap, aka old computer, was so slow that it was a daily practice for it to freeze up or be so slow that I would have to reboot multiple times. Anyway back today, I logged in waiting for a little while letting Microsoft Office do its initial thing. Then coming to find that nothing was been transferred to the new computer. For those who have previous read Garfield, you’ll know there is always one re-occurring event that he extremely dislikes more than anything else is MONDAYS.

So after leaving a message with IT, I started searching, loading, installing, etc.. items that I need to do my job. After a couple hours of struggling to remember where all these items are located (the few I did remember), I finally decided that there were enough to do some work. This was about the time the IT person showed up to transfer my previous computer configuration. Even though I wasted a couple hours I was thankful for the help. 15 minutes later he was done and on his way. So I waited for the system to reboot and configure, ending up with duplicates of all the items I was trying to restore. This took another hour to eliminate these items and final get to work.

Then it was lunch time and time to share this lovely Monday contribution. Damn I could have sleep until noon and would have accomplished the same amount of work.

100th

This post was actually written prior to this date, due to a miss-calculation on my part. The blog website also contributed to the mishap, in a way. After logging on and navigating to the post area, there it gives you the number of posts you have. What I did not know is that it also counts your drafts. There were a few entries that I never did post and after a time I felt these subjects weren’t relevant anymore.

Anyway here is the 100th post. If the rate of posts continued as I first started out, the 100th would have probably been published in the year 2050. Now with a baby on the way, I’ll probably not be posting as much. Even though lately it doesn’t seem like it, but we’ll just have to wait and see.

Follow Up: Rumor Has It

The rumor concerning Mr. Updates, Suckas! visiting us up North ended up being FALSE. As for not hearing from him, he has recently added to his blog. But has failed to respond to any email from me. Bringing me to one of the following conclusions: As Brian pointed out it must be the Grocery Outlet wine or he likes to keep me guessing or he now has a different email address.

Baseball

This day and age, when it comes to sports for me it is mainly football, basketball, and occasionally soccer. Growing up there was always another part to this equation that involved baseball. It was a game I loved to watch and more importantly play. The younger me admired Doc Gooding and Darrell Strawberry. Yes I know that these two people ended up being the worst of role models. But if you know about these two guys then you know I was a Mets fan. It not that I don’t like the Mets, it is that I don’t like baseball anymore. After one of the strikes, not sure which one, I totally stopped following baseball.

This is a little late, but better than ever. While on the sports page, I happened see a headline that basically stating the Mets had one of the biggest let downs in history. This I could not resist reading to see what was going on. I came to found out that the Mets have basically leading the division for the entire season until the next to last game. With 14 games remaining, they were ahead 7 games and were unable to win the division. This has to be sad for Mets fans. But all I have to say “Who cares, bring on football”.

NEW YORK SPORTS FANS

This has to be hard on New York Sport Fans this year. The Mets blow a almost fore sure post season appearance. Both the Giants and Jets suck this year, luckily if one of them end up with a .500 record this year. And last but not least, the Knicks only relevant news for this year and probably next is the sexual harassment lawsuit that settled in court to the tune 11.6 million. How big of fan would you be to admit you like the knicks.

What to write about when changing the topic from sports? Hmmmm... How about DRUGS

I know that lately most all my posts have been sports related. This is due to lack of this sport substance while I was out of the country. Before entering a couple more sports post, I thought a quick change of pace would be good. My new subject drugs. Just recently I caught a couple of interesting articles (aka weird section) in the news about current drug busts by customs.

The first was in Australia, were customs were able to intercept a package from Ireland that was trying to smuggle ecstasy into the country. The device to hid this drug, MR. POTATO HEAD. I didn’t know that he was so devilish evil.

Interesting, but not as cleaver as the next story from the Netherlands. Customs captured cocaine sent from Peru inside bugs. I wonder how many bugs it would take to make up a kilo.

Week 4 Football

10 - Well ISU is now 1-3. I am predicting 1 more win this season and no more. Next week is Northern Colorado, this will be it and they might as well cancel the rest of the season.

9 - With the number of upsets in the top 25 for college football this week, there is more college talk in this weeks post. I don’t know why but I love when ranked schools loose, except the few I like to see win, which is very few and even less this year (Total Number is 0). Start with No 3 Oklahoma loosing to the Buffalos (aka Colorado). Enough said

8 - I was able to see the final quarter of this game. In my opinion it was the best college game I have seen this year. No. 6 Cal outlasts No. 11 Oregon. Only if that receiver’s arms for Oregon were longer, he would have been able to reach across the goal line before fumbling it out the side of the end zone. Which would have sent the game to OT. Instead, giving Cal the ball on the 20 to take a knee to end the game.

7 - K-State beat the crap out of Texas. The final score was 41-21

6 - Now time for NFL. When it comes to the NL East, I always root against everyone in the division except the Cowboys (of course). But when there is two other teams from this division playing against each other, it hard to get excited about anything since both teams cannot loose. Except when DE Osi Umenyiora's leads the Giants with 6 sacks, of a total 12 sacks of the Eagles QB Donovan McNabb. Tells me last week against the Lions was a fluke and the Eagles really do suck.

5 - Cards finally drop the Steelers

4 - DA BEARS, DA BEARS, DA BEARS had more troubles than just the QB position. Griese threw 3 ints, 2 in the red zone. Then the Bears allowed a record number of points in the fourth quarter to loose again. Where is coach DIKA when you need him.

3 - I feel sorry for Alex Smith of the 49ers. If Rocky Bernard of the Seahawks' (308-pound defensive tackle) fell on me, I still would have been laying on the field. Don’t worry that is last time I feel sorry for the 49ers

2 - Almost the best thing that could happen in college football has happened, Florida and especially Meyer lost. Only thing better would if they lost to a AA division school or if they loose another game, but any loss by Florida I will take. By the way I will be rooting for LSU next Saturday.

1 - Well Holt of the Rams guaranteed a victory Sunday against the Cowboys. He did not get the support of the rest of the team, and they forgot to show up in a 37-7 win by the Cowboys. Only score was a long punt return and this was not be Holt.

Hot Pocket Yummmm........

When ever I am running late for work, I’ll quickly throw together my lunch for the day. The usually is carrots, a granola bar, a soda, and hot pocket. All items I’m able to assemble quickly, which was the case today with trying to help get Shell ready for her trip.

Well today for lunch I went to get in line for one of the microwaves for the hot pocket. Just a few notes, there is one particular microwave at work that must be turned on extremely high. Most food is usually cooked in half the time. The majority of the time this is the microwave that becomes available when it is my turn.

So today I place my hot pocket in this microwave and set on 1 minute, very fast, and stepped out of the way of the fridges. Around 40 seconds later I heard my food pop and while I was making my way to see what it was going on, it exploded. Well I should say the all the filling squirted out and splattered everywhere, all that was left was basically the crust. So grab many paper towels and tried to get all the filling. Leaving the rest after lunch when nobody was using this microwave. Always fun when you have to scrap off barbecue sauce the sides of a microwave. I must have looked fairly sad, due to the fact the janitor came up to me and said he would take care of the rest. Of course he was probably grateful I went back to attempt to clean up my mess

Notre Dame News Brief!!

NEWS BRIEF: Notre Dame football practice was delayed nearly 2 hours after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Charlie Weiss immediately suspended practice while South Bend Police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.



Initially I thought this could of happened for ISU’s football team. Then I realized most likely this has happened a very long time ago, and over the years with such a frequency that the PPD and FBI ignore their calls now.

Rumor Has It

Supposedly Mr. Updates, Suckas! will be arriving in town this weekend. The whole thing is that Shell and I have heard these rumors before and seeing is believing. Seems like he has dropped off the earth, no updates on the blog, no response on the email. Only time will tell.

Football Week 3 (4th week for college)

10 - Well for some reason, which they were incapable of doing the first and second week, Michigan actually showed up to the game against number 10 ranked Penn State and won. Who would of thunk.

9 - The Bunglers where back to their old selves against Eastern Washington. Final score 34-7. I don’t know any further detail, but I guess a positive would be that they at least scored a touchdown.

8 - Notre Dame lost their 4th in row and remain winless this season. I find this good news. The sad part is that everyone of their games are still televised.

7 - Since I live near the sea chickens, I kind of cheer for them. This week they were able to squeeze by the Bangles with a 4th quarter touchdown. Way to go chickens

6 - For those who play fantasy football, I find it hard to enjoy the games as much if I trying to track my players. The first two weeks I was able to just enjoy the games, but this week I was flipping back and forth from channel to channel, trying to see players on my fantasy team.

5 - I still cannot believe the Packers are undefeated and of course Farve breaking all the records. I still think he should be retired.

4 - Another loss by the Browns. Normal I don’t cheer against them, unless they are playing a certain Texas team, but the worse they do this year the better draft pick for you know who.

3 - After barely loosing to the Broncos last weekend, the Raiders actually won (I know that this is also part of 4, but I had to stretch this week for 10). The amazing part is that coached pulled the same trick the Broncos did last weekend and it worked. The coach called a timeout before the ball was snapped for an attempt at a game winning field goal. It would have been good if it wasn’t for the timeout. The second attempt was missed.

2 - Even more unbelievable than the Packers are the Saints and Rams, which still have not won a game this year.

1 - To be honest, I was a little worried about the Cowboys against the Bears. Mainly due to the last couple years the offense would play a couple good games and then fall apart. But that was with other coaches and quarterbacks. The Cowboys offense destroyed the Bears defense, relative to extremely good defense. Most people I talked too about the game found it boring. Low scoring first half and the then Dallas ran away in the second, which I enjoyed it very much.

Same shape and color, but there is a BIG DIFFERENCE!!

This weekend at the grocery store, I was buying food for this week lunches. While I was walking down the cookie/cracker isle and decided that a box of Cheddar Jack Cheez-Its would be quite divine, which I recently had and enjoyed very much. After making this selction I continued down the isle and noticed that “Cheese Nips” where on sale for only a $1.00 box. Since I haven’t had these for such a long time and they are so cheap, I decided to go with the later instead.

I not sure if anything has changed in the world of cheese nips, but these are awful. Not worthy of the dollar. In fact the next box I take home, someone will have to pay me. On a side note I decided to give almost full box to the intern sitting next to me at work. He was grateful, probably the poor student thing previously made a cheese nip acceptable.

4 Month Anniversary

Yesterday, was exactly 4 months since I started my final trip home, leaving Iceland FOR-EV-ER. Now you may be asking why make a post for the 4 month anniversary, a kind of unusual number? Well since I did not even notice the anniversary date last month, 1 month after is too short, and I don’t want to wait for 6 months or a year.

To celebrate this occasion, a recap on the top 5 things I miss and don’t miss. You may ask again why 5 and not 10? I would have to say, “boy you ask a lot of questions”. Well the answer is I cannot think of 10 things I miss, OKAY!! Here we go

Top 5 Items I Miss About Iceland:

5 Holiday/Europe trips - 2 weeks off at a time, every 8 weeks. As for the Europe Trips were a lot easier for me to catch a 2 hour flight over a 8+ hours flight. I still hate to fly.

4 Busier At Work - My position was a little more fast paced.

3 Cooler Temperature - After being away from home for awhile, coming back at the start of summer was a little difficult due to the adjust quickly to the extreme temperature difference.

2 Friends - Fairly straight forward, but I miss all the friends I made while I was in Iceland

1 Money - More hours with uplift.


Top 5 Items I Don’t Miss About Iceland:

5 Hours Worked a Week - Working 10 to 14 hours a day, 6 to 7 days a week. Needless to say I was burnt out.

4 Location - Liked my job, hated the location. First, there was only 2 days in the span of a year and half that I did not have to wear a jacket at some point in the day. Needed some warm weather, aka summer. Second, in the summer you can’t sleep since it is day all the time. You’re always tired. In the winter it is always dark which is depressing and you always want to sleep. You’re always tired

3 8x8 Cell, I mean dorm room - Not exactly sure if this was the size, but it is damn close

2 Food - No more sheep burgers, fish, mystery meat, or smell of meals that would automatically turn me away.

1 Being away from home - Glad to be back.

Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth!

Previously I remember hearing that dogs can comprehend around 200 words of the English (or other) language.

I consistently talk to Bailey everyday, even though I feel that she just doesn’t understand anything I’m saying. Shell’s thoughts are that she understands, but chooses not to listen. Either way Bailey gives me a look that says she doesn’t understand. Lately the frequency of talking to Bailey has increased or maybe I’ve just noticed it more. I came to this conclusion the other day when I started answering for her also. Anyway, I stated thinking about the statement above and here are some of my thoughts on the subject, if anybody cares.

Was there any research behind this number? At first I imagined numerous dogs is some lab, having grad students teaching these dogs a list of words. Then researchers would come back later, starting from the end of the list and see where they ended up. Then I don’t see how any of this would work, mainly because I could tell Bailey to go jump in traffic a certain way and she would act happy about it.

Which brings me to my next question. Is this the number varied for how smart the dog? I have had a couple of very stupid dogs growing up. As one story my dad likes to tell when the subject of stupid animals comes up. Peanuts, some sort of mutt I had, decided that a nice snack would be fish hooks out of dads tackle box. I’m sure for each hook the dog ate, 10 additional words were lost from his total. Anyway that number has to vary. Or the number is right and some dogs choose to ignore you more.

Unable to satisfactorily answer the questions above myself and I have no desire to research for the answers brings to the following. Whether the statement is true or not, I’ll still talk to Bailey and guessing from my recent observation I’ll answer for her too.

Conclusions

Okay I’ve also come to the 2 conclusions when I was typing the post above. 1 - Driving/riding 2 hours a day to get to and from work, gives me too much time to think of stupid crap like subject above. 2 - Since I stopped smoking I need breaks through out the day, I usually take these 5 minute breaks by writing posts for this blogs. So now I get to share all these stupid thoughts with everyone. I bet everyone is feeling privileged.

Karma

Football Week 2

For some reason I’m unable to get out enough football talk at work (aka around the water cooler), so here we go with week 2

10 - Start will college football again. Can Michigan or Notre Dame can actually win a game? Only when the play each other. Better luck next year for the Irish.

9 - I would be surprised if they showed the flight between the two mascots again on TV. Thankfully for YouTube, which nothing will ever die. That crazy duck beating the crap out of a cougar.

8 - There goes ISU winning record, their back to being average again. Oregon State was too much to handle, by the tune of 51 points, unlike central southern Oregon junior college or something like that. By the way that is Idaho not Iowa. The other ISU can actually win a game against a decent team, they beat Iowa this weekend. At least ISU (Idaho) record is not below average, which will most likely change after next weeks game.

7 - This season already has way too many scandal. First, the whole Vick and dog fighting before the season began. Then not even through the first week and the Patriots get caught cheating. Now, OJ getting arrested for stealing. Good thing it is not really a football scandal, instead it is a dumba** that use to play football scandal.

6 - The Patriots seem to have found a receiver that actually help Brady. Of course it is only week 2 and it is against a team with all new coaches. I’m sure there is a bit of a learning curve, but then again the team is still the chargers and last year they had a very good defense.

5 - Tough one for Seattle Sea Chicken fans. After from going to a be a blow out by the Cards, to the chickens start a come back and looking like they are going to win, and then blowing it at the end with a bad handoff. But after watching part of the 49ers and St Louis game yesterday, I would not worry too much. From what I seen, it will not take too much to win the division.

4 - I still cannot believe that Denver strategy for icing a kicker worked. If you did not see, in overtime the Raiders set up for a game winning field goal when Denver called a timeout right before the snap. Of course the play proceeded over the whistle and the kick went through the uprights. The Raiders of course celebrating the win, came to realize what happened. Then second attempt was missed, hitting the top of uprights. Resulting in Denver having the ball and being able to drive down the field for the win. Never mind the Raiders kicker is 1 for 5 this season, which would be a good average if I was talking baseball.

3 - Congratulations go out to a Football senior citizen Bret Favre who is the all-time leader in career wins as a starting QB. Wonder which record he will surpass next: Dan Marino's TD record (3 needed) or George Blanda's interception record (2 needed)? Since he won’t retire himself, the Packers need to do it after this season.

2 - Cowboys win, was there any doubt? Of course the answer is no. Prior to this game, Joey Porter of Miami proceeded to tell the press that Marion Barber was basically a weak player. Then Marion proceeded to run over Porter at one point in the game. Luckily I was not announcing the game, due to the fact I would have pointed this out on the broadcast and make sure everyone watching know that Porter is an a**.

1 - Now I know that my number 1 is almost automatic if Dallas wins, but the shoot out between the Bangles and Browns couldn’t have been beat. This was the best game this weekend, if you considering the defensive teams on both sides did not bother showing up. I still amazed the Browns won. Total of 11 passes for touchdown, and ranked 8 highest point total for a game.

The Emmy’s

Last night as I was laying bed trying to go to sleep, while Shell was watching the Emmy’s. I wasn’t fully paying attention, but it seemed that every category had someone nominated from Grey's Anatomy, or The Sopranos, or both. After a little while, I started wondering why any network would want to host this award show. If I ran a TV network, the last thing I would want would have a program showing that my competitors are being recognized for their good work. If would be different if Fox was winning the majority of the awards.

Then I realized, there is something else more important than all these thoughts.

I DON’T CARE and I went to sleep.

Football News Shorts

This was the first weekend with an ample amount of action, that counted. There is so much that I could write about, but I will try to keep each subject short. Of course 4 to 5 lines is short for me. Here is my top 10.

10 - Start with the disappointment of the week, Michigan showed again how they do not belong in top 25. I don’t know what was the final score. I know after several touchdown difference, I declared that they suck and turn off the TV. I couldn’t watch anymore.

9 - Speaking of college football and the state of Idaho: The Vandals lost last week to USC. Boise State lost to Washington that ended the longest wining steak in the country. The Bunglers, I mean Bengals actually won a game. I believe they beat South Middle Eastern Oregon State College or something like that. I’m so proud.

8 - On with the NFL. Now we know why the Patriots have been good for so long. They always know what plays the other team is going to run.

7 - The 49ers and Cardinals still suck. This week the 49ers were a little less sucky.

6 - Surprise of the week, after watching several games (or parts of the games). I did not hear a signal word concerning Vick.

5 - Annoyance of week, Madden and Michaels during Sunday Night Football with the consistent talk on how Tikki should return. He is retired, it is about time those two do the same.

4 - The Saints failed miserably to stick it too the Colts. Since Cowboys don’t play the Colts during the regular season this year, they have to wait to kick there butts (again) in the Super Bowl.

3 - I’m still amazed that Denver was able to get the kicking unit on the field and kick the winning field goal in something like 11 seconds. It was been a long time since I enjoyed watching a denver game, oh wait, this is a first.

2 - The Packers actually won. The sweet part is that the Eagles lost, thanks to their special teams. Keep the punt returners in the games.

1 - As for the game of the week. The Cowboys beat the Giants. I never doubted it for a minute. Of course neither team’s defense showed up. If the Cowboys defense doesn’t get the crap together. The only super bowl for Dallas will be 2011, when they host.

The Wait Is Over.......

I have waited for over 2 years for this event. Tonight Football season starts, and I am located in a place that will actually show the games and I can actually watch these games.

Myspace Users - Beware of the Comments Concerning Macy’s Gift Card

Since leaving for Iceland, I have not frequently visited my myspace page. I occasionally checked to see if there where any notes from friends. But this weekend, I decided to update my profile including a new layout and picture. In addition, a little surfing was done. Well yesterday I heard from Jeanette via Shell that some hacker has invaded my space, sending porn bulletins. OH THAT’S GREAT!!!!

Since I was at work, I had to wait until I got home to deal with this annoyance. Once dealing with this issue I noticed a new comment from myself, some stupid con about a gift card from Macy’s. Anyway I remember seeing the same comment on another friends myspace and I never did click on anything involving this comment. So beware.

New steps in trying to help those nervous flyers

Enough on the stupid phishing. Reading the world news today, I came across this article and had to share. By the way this was not in the Weird section.

Officials at Nepal's state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft.

Nepal Airlines, which has two Boeing aircraft, has had to suspend some services in recent weeks due to the problem.

The goats were sacrificed in front of the troublesome aircraft Sunday at Nepal's only international airport in Kathmandu in accordance with Hindu traditions, an official said.

I guess this satisfied the sky gods, since I did not see any news about further problems concerning Nepal and air travel.

Coin

It is so AMAZING and so UNBELIEVABLE that I have to order 5. Your probably asking, what is it? It is the corvette dollar.


Yes that is right, the first car coin with working headlights. I was so excited, I had to share

Late Announcement

Earlier this month, prior to leaving for Poky, shell had an ultrasound. Results are in,

IT IS A GIRL!!!

The subjects of my posts recently have been a little late. I have to work on my tardiness.

Baby Predictions

Initially I didn’t have a preference on sex of the baby. I would be happier with either a boy or girl. When people found out about the pregnancy, they started predicting it would be a girl. There was many different factors that went into their predictions, but after so many, I started to get annoyed.

Normally I’m not a person to point out mistakes and tell someone they were wrong, but I started hoping for boy. Mainly so I could tell everyone with their own take on the subject “You don’t know what the hell your are talking about”.

So much for my wish, but it is probably better that it is a girl. I should have known better in the first place, mainly due to the fact that we have a name for a boy picked out and no names for a girl.

Responsible Scanner, No De-Shedder for Me!!!!

To go with the De-Shedder post.

This weekend shell and I went to complete a baby registry at Tarché. I was able to handle the duties of the scan gun without any unnecessary scans. Not to say I was not tempted, I was thinking a new game system (Xbox 360) would be fun. No de-shedder for me. If I’m going away from the intended items, I’m going big.

Unnecessary Roughness

It has been awhile since I was able to catch up with the Weird Wide World. While looking over the headline I read this article immediately thinking of the movie Unnecessary Roughness and that this movie could possibly be based on a true story, now. Here is a brief summary of the article:

A 59 year old linebacker return for his senior year of football - Flynt returned to Sul Ross State this month, 37 years after he left and six years before he goes on Medicare. His comeback peaked Wednesday with the coach saying he's made the Division III team's roster. Flynt is giving new meaning to being a college senior. After all, he's a grandfather and a card-carrying member of AARP. He's eight years older than his coach and has two kids older than any of his teammates.

The only differences between this story and the movie are the position the old man plays, the year of school he is entering, and name of school. The name they always change anyways, but it is still in Texas. I know there are movies out there that claim to be based on true stories and have less in common with the real story. I am curious if this guy has watched the movie way too much.

Translation

Well it has been about a week since my last post. This is mainly due to lack of any spectacular events taking place lately. It has been a busy week at work and home and I’m looking forward to the start of the weekend tonight.


Only note is that my work computer is possessed. Today I was scrolling down through a document when the following message showed up on the screen.

Not only did I apparently request translation, but in more than 1 language. Even as I speak, the computer is trying to restart. It would be okay if it was entertaining, but it just been annoying so far. Possessions are suppose to be, at the very minimal, amusing.

FIRE!!!!

It is that time of year there are usually many fires. Well last weekend there was a fire near my work, which was covered heavily by the local news. Nothing out of the ordinary, but there are some interesting pictures.

Wedding

Since last week I was in Poky and I did not get around to contribute any posts, here are a few to catch up.

As previously posted, my sister got married. Congratulation again to Lindsay and Scott. I going to keep it simple and say it was an extraordinary event and if you were not there, you missed out.

Julie in the part of Austin Powers

After the wedding, Julie (maid of honor) was saying how good she was looking. I thought it would be funny if Julie would repeat one famous line from the latest Austin Powers movie, which took a little coaxing. This post is mainly for people that know Julie, otherwise you might not find it as funny. I was able to capture on Video, Julie stating “I’m one sexy bitch”. This will be available for purchase soon on eBay.

In case Julie is reading, I am just kidding.

Even though Mike Meyers makes a much better delivery, this was hilarious.

And to answers your question before you even ask, NO I was not drinking. I left that the KEY man

KEY Man

The funniest monument of the wedding reception happened during the toast by the best man. He was complementing the newly weds on how perfect they were for each other. Then noted that Scott was no longer available and all ex-girlfriends need to return their keys at that very moment. Several ladies stood up and started returning keys to Scott at the head table. Including one pregnant lady. But the priceless moment was the last person, Andy (Updates, suckas!) returning his key.

How Sweet It Is

There is that time that comes every spring, the feeling that something is missing. You try to find a substitute, but nothing can replace it. The only thing to resolve this conflict is to wait for the end of August. If you have to ask, “What is this glorious event?” Then you probably don’t feel the same way, but it is

Start of Football Season

After football ends each year, there is a temporally diversion by March Madness. Then possibility this extended into summer with NBA, if any team beside the Spurs is winning. Watching them play is so boring no matter who they are playing. All other sports are just to fill the time in between football seasons. I don’t even see why baseball continues once football starts.

Nothing beats the start of the season. Even though it is pre-season and the games do not count. No matter who you root for, this is a new beginning. Hoping that it is your team’s year and the empty feeling is gone.

Movie Reviews - The Homer Bourne Segment

Most of the prior week was spent in preparation for my sisters wedding , but I was able to catch a couple of movies.

The Simpsons Movie - This was basically a extended TV episode, which I still enjoyed very much and I would highly recommend. There is a reason the Simpsons have been around for ever, they never get old. There were a few things that they included because it was a movie. Like Marge swearing. But the did not over do it like the South Park movie, where the first 10 minutes had enough swearing to make up for all previous and future episodes on TV.

Bourne Ultimatum - If you want action, there was no stop. This I always enjoy, but my overall rating would be okay. I believe that I had too high of expectations. For the plot closure of a trilogy, I found it a little disappointing. I still cannot put my finger on what was missing, but there was something and apparently they couldn’t figure it out also. Of course they also left a little opening for the possibility of another movie. If you are a fan of the first two movies, it is a must see.

De-Shedder

A friend of mine at work just recently got engaged. Last weekend he and his future wife went to register for gifts. If anybody has went through this task before, you know that the main function of the guy is hold the scanner gun and fire away when directed.

Well my friend was telling me during this event of his at Bed Bath and Beyond, he came across the SHEDENDER and just couldn’t help to scan it. This “AS SEEN ON TV” product is the answer to all your pet shedding problems. You got to love these products and there wonderful info commercials, which you can watch online now.

This event just goes to show that men can not take the responsibility of the scanning gun. There is always some occasions when the guy are able to add a few items when the significant other is directed elsewhere, whether they know about it or not.

Something Weird Is Going On With This Blog

Lately after making a post, I’ll view my blog to see if everything looks okay. Well this was been difficult, since my posts are not showing up immediately. At first, I would come back later (next day) and these posts would appear. But I made a couple of posts before my vacation last week, and I still cannot see them. I am thinking that the reason is due to my computer. I was also thinking of asking the readers if they can see this posts, but there is 2 problems.

1st - How can readers tell me if these posts are not showing up

2nd - Not sure if there are any readers

If either one is true then it would not help. Of course if the 2nd one is true, does it matter?

Retirement

I was just recently looking at my reoccurring meetings at work and decided to see when this items ended. I kept going and going, and final stopped when I reached January of 2058. The meetings did not stop, which would make me 80 years old on this date. So according my calendar I will never leave this job. No retirement.

Now I am glad to be back in the US and back home, but that is a little crazy.

Congratulations

Since I will soon be heading out this weekend and I’m not sure if I will feel like make any posts until I get back (most likely won’t). I thought I would congratulate the soon to be wed couple.

Lindsay and Scott

Congratulations!!!!

Endless Stupid Theme

Today, I saw a safety message at work and it got me thinking how a stupid idea (theme), even though it might be amusing occasionally, is so over done. This theme I am talking about started with a commercial, expanding into a series of commercials, and soon will be the subject of a new TV show. The theme I am referring “So Easy a Caveman Can Do It”, which was the title of this the safety message.

I don’t understand these themes that refer to people being stupid or dumb. Like the popular series of books where you can fill in the blanks with any subject “_____ for Dummies” or Idiots guide to ________”. There seems to be no end.

Time for Vacation

Well it is that time again. Time to head off on another vacation. Over the past year and half, I’ve been to Washington DC, Ireland, London, Reykjavik, Paris, Amsterdam, and the trip I have failed to make any post concerning - Colorado Springs (side trip to South Dakota). All these trips have been enjoyable, exception of Reykjavik due to the location and I did not want to be Iceland at the time.

So, I’ve been on more trips over the last year and half than I’ve been in my entire life. What is the big adventure this time...well it is good old Poky. The final destination for many world bound tourists for the endless activities and sites.

All kidding aside, the exciting occasion for this trip will be my sisters wedding. In addition to this glory occasion, I am looking forward to vegging out and finally being able to catch up on some much needed rest. No work around the house. No getting up early for work. No plans, so to speak besides the event list previously. Able to catch up on some of summer movies if I feel up to it. And no worries.

~~ The Man Code ~~

Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem you didn't see nothin'.

The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow party goers.

Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and theability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

My Favorite - If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless super model...and it's free.

A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat"

Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

5 Year Anniversary

Come this October of this year, it will be my 5 year anniversary with the company I work. For this glorious occasion I will be able to attend a banquet in my honor, along with others also reaching this milestone.

In addition to honor for yours truly, they offer a lovely gift (service award) of my choosing. Since they want you to have your gift prior to this date, which makes sense to me, they let you select the item out ahead of time. So today I went online to see what they offer. There are about 25 different items. Some of the items are many different types of desk awards, a cosmetic case, jewelry, a globe, and of course the traditional watch.

I was reading the descriptions of these items when I came to the globe and found the note under the description:

if you request this award to ship to a location in India, customs officials there have not allowed the item into the country due to their concerns about mapping on the globe.

I am sure this is due to area that India and Pakistan both claim and have been fighting over for many of years. But am I curious does the globe show this area in favor of Pakistan, or is Pakistan customs not so uptight, or is it mainly due to the fact that no awards go to Pakistan.

What ever the case maybe, I am not curious enough to order the gift. Anyway can I pass up the cosmetic cases, I think not!!!

Words of Advice From Homer

What I've Learned: Homer Simpson
Nuclear-power-plant safety inspector, 39, Springfield
Interviewed by John Frink and Don Payne

When someone tells you your butt is on fire, you should take them at their word.

There is no such thing as a bad doughnut.

Kids are like monkeys, only louder.

If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless.

There are many different religions in this world, but if you look at them carefully, you'll see that they all have one thing in common: They were invented by a giant, super intelligent slug named Dennis.

You should just name your third kid Baby. Trust me -- it'll save you a lot of hassle.

You can have many different jobs and still be lazy.

You can get free stuff if you mention a product in a magazine interview. Like Chips Ahoy! cookies.

You may think it's easier to de-ice your windshield with a flamethrower, but there are repercussions. Serious repercussions.

There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten.

There are way too many numbers. The world would be a better place if we lost half of them -- starting with 8. I've always hated 8.

Be generous in the bedroom -- share your sandwich.

I've climbed the highest mountains . . . fallen down the deepest valleys . . . I've been to Japan and Africa . . . and I've even gone into space. But I'd trade it all for a piece of candy right now.

Every creature on God's earth has a right to exist. Except for that damn ruby-throated South American warbler.

I don't need a surgeon telling me how to operate on myself.

Sometimes I think there's no reason to get out of bed . . . then I feel wet, and I realize there is.

Let me just say, Winnie the Pooh getting his head caught in a honey pot? It's not funny. It can really happen.

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll get a hook caught on his eyelid or something.

I made a deal with myself ten years ago . . . and got ripped off.

Never leave your car keys in a reactor core.

Always trust your first instinct -- unless it tells you to use your life savings to develop a Destructo Ray.

When you borrow something from your neighbor, always do it under the cover of darkness.

Never throw a butcher knife in anger.

The hardest thing I've had to face as a father was burying my own child. He climbed back out, but it still hurts.

If doctors are so right, why am I still alive?
I love natural disasters because we're allowed to get out of work.