~~ The Man Code ~~

Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem you didn't see nothin'.

The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow party goers.

Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and theability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

My Favorite - If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless super model...and it's free.

A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat"

Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.